Cherie’s “Things I’ve Learned Since My First Book Got Published”

Apparently this week I can rely on my clients for content. I love this one by Cherie Priest, especially:

No one will believe you did it by writing a book that was worth publishing. Aspiring writers will be sure that you had a secret short cut, and you are a raging bitch for holding out on all those other poor folks who are just as worthy as you, but who were unwilling to flash their boobies at exactly the right people. And if you don’t think people will actually say things like this, perhaps you have not yet published a book.

And this one….

People will use your name to lie. At least twice, other writers with whom I was peripherally acquainted approached my (now former) agent and told him that I’d recommended them.

…. because this has happened to me. Also, people writing to say you requested something at a conference when you most certainly did not. I’ve even had people claim I was at conferences I didn’t attend where I also requested material (still can’t figure that one out at all – I know writers have fertile imaginations, but….).

Maybe I should work on “Things I’ve Learned About Agenting Since I First Sold a Book”….

14 responses to “Cherie’s “Things I’ve Learned Since My First Book Got Published”

  1. You have pretty cool clients. 🙂

  2. Its the magic bullet theory. People believe in that with an alarming fervor.

  3. “I’ve even had people claim I was at conferences I didn’t attend where I also requested material…”
    theory #1 (conspiracy version): A wannabe-writer posing as an agent was looking to find some neat ideas that they hadn’t thought up themselves. When they found an author they really didn’t want to deal with.. they said sure… and you are getting the end result.
    theory #2 (speculative version) It was the alternate universe version of you. You know.. the one that actually likes those genres and finds things interesting that in this universe have been completely overdone.
    theory #3 (mystery version) It is actually a coded message from one of your already contracted writers. They are being stalked and they are afraid that someone will be checking their mail and stealing all the ideas if they are presented in a normal fashion.

  4. Wow! People never cease to amaze me. One of the main points of attending such a conference is to learn things like how to present yourself and your work, ie proper querying, which includes things like not lying to/about the person you’re sending your query to! And yet, we have attendees who probably sat on many a panel about getting an agent, or querying a manuscript, lying their butts off and hoping you won’t notice. *shakes head*
    I understand the desperate need to stand out from the rest of the crowd, but come on, that is not the way to do it!

  5. I suspect that at least occasionally some of the people claiming that an agent requested material at a conference are confused rather than lying. I know that a couple of times I’ve had to refer to the conference material to confirm exactly who that was who invited me to email her after the conference to get some information — and I can’t even blame it on the booze as I’m teetotal. So I can *easily* see someone pulling out the wrong conference info, or getting names muddled up.
    But yes, some of them are just trying it on.

  6. Maybe I should work on “Things I’ve Learned About Agenting Since I First Sold a Book”….
    That would be interesting, actually. So long as my previous incarnation doesn’t feature in any of those stories… *grin* (you didn’t sell your first to me, did you? That would be too weird)

  7. Wait, what? Flashing boobies is all it takes? All this time I’ve been laboring away at a graduate degree when I could simply have taken off my shirt and been a bestselling author! I would have thought writing a novel would have been involved somewhere.

  8. Haha! Thanks, and as for “Things I’ve Learned About Agenting Since I First Sold a Book” you should totally do it 🙂

  9. *No one will believe you did it by writing a book that was worth publishing.*
    I made a post on my own blog about Joe Hill, son of Stephen King. All he had to do was mention his dad’s name and he would have had publishers waving their cheque books. Instead, he wrote a damn good novel and kept his parentage secret. I really admire that.
    http://conduitnovel.blogspot.com/

  10. Hi. I’ve been trying to send you a query, but I keep getting an email saying there was a DNS error. Has this happened to anyone else? Should I send you a snail mail query instead?

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