A note about the friends list…

Since someone asked: Yes, you may friend me. However, it’s just as likely that I won’t be adding you to my reading list. I actually wish they had called it something other than a friends list. It seems to make some people feel you are unfriendly if you choose not to add them. So, how does one say this politely? Um. I don’t have time to read everyone who reads me. (I don’t even check LJ every day….) Ergo, I tend to pick and choose. Most of the journals I read are by clients, writers I fangirl about, colleagues in publishing, and/or my friends in RL. Occasionally when there is no paperwork on my desk and no manuscripts waiting to be read (ha!), I wander off and read blogs at large. Yes, I could set up a filter, but that would be pretty much the same deal, then, wouldn’t it? So, there you have it. I’m not intending to slight anyone. I just have to be realistic. This has been a public service announcement.

15 responses to “A note about the friends list…

  1. I’m not the least bit slighted not to be on your F-list, and I exercise a very simillar policy myself.
    I added you because you represent friends of mine, and they’ve made a point of praising some of your posts. I consider it a mercy that you don’t post as obsessively as your clients. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I added you because you represent friends of mine, and they’ve made a point of praising some of your posts. I consider it a mercy that you don’t post as obsessively as your clients. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Ditto that from me. As a publishing contracts and rights person, as well as writer, I’ve found some of your posts very educational.

  2. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about who you friend or read. Blogs should be a joy not an obligation. My agent doesn’t blog so I find it interesting to read your insights into the business. Egads, we can make ourselves insane worrying about this sort of thing. Life is too short.

  3. I have precisely this problem, and lack the patience (or the desire for polite subterfuge) required to set up some sort of ‘master’ friends list and only read subfilters.
    Ah, netiquette.

  4. I think of it as a reading list. Most of the people on mine are people I wouldn’t know from Adam, and I am generally surprised when they add me back.

  5. I consider that perfectly understandable. We’re “friending” you because we want to see what you’re saying. Which is along the lines of attending a convention panel. Getting re-friended isn’t the point imo.

  6. It would be nice if there was an option to just monitor an individual user like there is for communities. I’ve friended you and so that I can keep up with your public insights on the publishing industry. What this means though is I’ve created a separate filter for certain posts when I just want to rant about something that’s very author life specific. Nothing’s perfect and someone could easily hack past the filter, but with it, I won’t have non-author industry professionals that I’ve friended just stumbling over them.

  7. What?!
    You trying to say you don’t have time to read multiple entries from 525 other people every.single.day?! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    -=Jeff=-

  8. I always wonder about those people that don’t want to be friended. I mean if they don’t want others to read their LJ, why keep an LJ – especially a public one.
    And I have received more than enough snotty “I friended you but you didn’t friend me so I hate you” responses to care about who friends me back. If I interest you, friend me. If I don’t, well don’t.
    I think I found you through

  9. Heck! You don’t even friend all the people you know from Real Life(tm)! And no, that’s not a hint. I do all my best writing in other peoples’ journals anyway, so you’re not missing much.

  10. I’d never expect you to read me just because I read you. If I ever start journalling tidbits and advices that are wildly helpful to you in your line of work, I’ll let you know; otherwise, I’d go a step further and recommend that you not friend me. I only LJ to keep in touch with a few old friends.

  11. friending
    Perhaps a brief note in your bio would suffice.
    That way people should quit asking you (except those persons whose primary goal is to chat you up anyway)

  12. This is why my profile says, “I do not call it a friends list, I call it a reading list.” There are several people on there that I’ve not friended, even upon knowing them in real life, because what they post is of no interest to me at all. Just the way it is, but being clear can help prevent hurt feelings (hopefully) on the part of folks who genuinely think “friend” means, well, “friend.” Oi.

  13. i am friending you. i will not be offended when you don’t read my journal. it’s mostly just pictures of me using power tools in exotic underpants, or posts about unicorns and cooking (though never about cooking unicorns; too stringy), and other hackneyed stuff like that.

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